Outlaw, Numb and Offline

The entire purpose of this blog is to be honest and open. To be a window so that others may not feel alone in their experience.

This post is certainly honest.

This will be the final post of this blog as I have made the decision to take it offline on June 1st of this year. I started this website on April 16th, 2020. For six years I’ve paid for the domain and moderately kept the posting active to allow this website to be a lighthouse for those navigating rough waters, never needing to know if it was ever helpful. But, I’ve reached a point in life where I’m tired. I dreamed that by this time in my life I’d no longer carry my burdens alone, or at the very least have a home to shelter in. Not a physical home, the metaphorical one everyone uses. I still carry my burdens alone and there is no shelter on the horizon.

I no longer have it in me to write into the dark void of cyber space. I’m too numb to write much of anything that has hope. And too overwhelmed —at the moment— to put pen to paper to write myself through it.

This is not me giving up, never that. This is me accepting that the time for this blog has run it’s course. After I’ve had some time to recharge and reconnect with my emotions I’ll continue with open mics and being an advocate for male sexual abuse victims. That will never end, for men need those who will stand in the gap— now more than ever.

For any, and all readers: thank you for your time. And here is the final poem for this page:

OUTLAW

Dust swirled about the horses stirrups,
A harsh snort to clear his nose:
Anxious to restart the journey.
His rider, a cowboy.
Dressed with a weapon of destruction,
Eyes squinting in the noon day:
Looking for hope amongst the death of the desert. 

“Come on, Agrona. We must cross the wasteland.”

Slowly they rode to their destiny.

—EJB